For Reasons Unknown Chapter 8

Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Remus/Regulus
Genre: Romance, Drama
Rating: R (overall)
Disclaimer: Characters and world belong to J. K. Rowling
Authors: M3535 & Zayhad


Chapter 8 – “When Are You Going to Get a Boyfriend?”

Regulus’ 5th year

Regulus felt more self-confident when heading back to Hogwarts for his fifth year. He had grown several inches over the summer, and although he was still small for his age and his face rather feminine he thought he actually looked like a teenager now. He hoped that maybe the teasing about his size and looks would decrease. 

To his irritation, his heart started drumming against his ribs when he saw Remus on the station. He had not seen him over the summer, as Mrs. Black no longer allowed Sirius to have his friends over (although she had been happy to let Regulus have Barty visit). 

Remus waved and smiled at the brothers. He noticed that Regulus had grown and thought it suited him well.

"Moonyyyy!" called Sirius as he bounced over to him like a kangaroo. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, Padfoot," he said and straighten his robes when Sirius let go of him.

"Control yourself, Sirius, will you?" said Regulus irritably. "You’re acting like an idiot."

"Just because you aren’t thrilled to see your friends doesn't mean that I can't be happy to see mine. Mind you, I didn't get to see them all summer."

Regulus just shrugged and left to go find his own compartment. Sitting with the Marauders all the way to Scotland was not very appealing to him. He would end up trying to strangle Peter or James.

"Your brother grew over the summer," said Remus in a casual tone.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I guess he did. I hadn’t really noticed. I spent most of the summer in my room being mad at my parents for letting him have that wanker Barty Crouch over and me not being allowed to see you lads."

Remus leaned back and closed his eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about how good Regulus looked. He had become very handsome and didn’t look like a child any longer.

"I'm surprised I even survived the summer without seeing Lily," sighed James dramatically. "Three whole months!"

"I'm sure she was pleased to get a break from your constant pestering," grinned Sirius. 

"Oh, just you wait - when she sees me she will realise how much she has missed me and finally come to her senses and go out with me."

"I’m sure that’s the case," said Remus sardonically.

Sirius laughed and put an arm around James' shoulder. "You got fight left in you, Potter. Just keep going and at last she will take you in as a pity case."

"Well, talking about my beautiful flower," said James and got up, "I think I'll go find her!" He came back five minutes later with a red cheek and a dreamy smile on his face. 

"I suppose you found her," grinned Sirius and scooted over to give James room. "Judging from your red cheek she did not approve of your selected method of approach."

"I don't care," grinned James. "She touched me!"

"You're a nutter, Prongs," said Sirius and shook his head.

"What about you, Moony?" asked James. "When are you going to get a boyfriend?"

"Oh... um,” said Remus and blushed a bit. "No one at school knows about me apart from you lads and I'm not sure I dare tell anyone. And I don’t know anyone who’s gay…"

"What about Noel Davies, the Ravenclaw Seeker?" suggested Peter. "I think he's gay."

"Oh, yeah!" said James. "He's sort of handsome - for a bloke - and a Quidditch star. You can't do better than that!"

"I don't even know him," protested Remus, blushing an even deeper shade of red. "I never spoke a word to him so he would think it was weird if I suddenly started talking to him. And what if he isn't gay? I would look like a twat, not to mention my secret would be out to the entire school if he decided to tell on me."

"But he's a Quidditch star," repeated James as if that settled the matter. "And one of us can ask around if he's gay or not and then maybe ask him what kind of blokes are his type.

Remus bit his lip nervously. "All… all right, you can ask around but don't tell anyone about me. And try to be discrete," he said, although knowing that the last request was unrealistic.

To be honest, the only person Remus was really attracted to was Regulus Black, but he was going to keep that to himself. He was Sirius’ younger brother after all. And Regulus was very unlikely to be gay. Undoubtedly, it was not something a real Black would be. And even if he were, someone like Remus would certainly not meet his standards. He would probably go for a handsome pure-blood from Slytherin or perhaps Ravenclaw.

"A Quidditch star..." repeated James thoughtfully. “Who isn't dying to score a Quidditch star?"

"Seriously, Prongs, do you want to date Davies?" laughed Sirius.

"I only love Lily," said James, affronted. "But honestly, lads, how can she say no to this?" he continued, pointing at his own chest. "I mean, Moony - if we weren't friends and all that, wouldn't you think I was the hottest bloke you'd ever seen, when I'm flying around in my Quidditch robes?"

Remus hummed and tapped his chin with a finger. "Your hair is a bit messy for my taste, if I have to be honest."

Sirius and Peter laughed. "There you have it, Prongs," said Sirius. "No one finds your hairdo hot."

"What? I have wicked cool hair!" gasped James, ruffling up his hair the way he always did when Lily was around.

"So I'm more your type, am I?" smirked Sirius, running his fingers through his own straight, shiny hair. 

Remus blushed when watching Sirius. He looked a lot like Regulus so naturally he was Remus’ “type” when it came to looks. "In... in a way, I guess," Remus said, trying to sound like it was not big deal.

Sirius' grin stiffened on his face for a second. 

"Ha! You fancy Padfoot!" grinned Peter.

"O-of course he does," said Sirius. "Every bird does, so why shouldn't Moony?"

Remus gulped and looked down at his hands. "I don’t fancy you, Padfoot. You asked if I found you attractive and I do. It’s not the same thing as fancying you. We’re friends and that’s it. I can’t imagine us going out.”

"So, you don't fancy me at all?" asked Sirius, almost looking insulted.

Remus shook his head, smiling.

"Oh, okay. Good. It would just be a little weird. Not that I would blame you or anything," continued Sirius with a grin. "I mean - look at this!"

James wacked him over the head with a Quidditch magazine. "You're so full of it!"

"Look who's talking!"

o0o0o0o0o0o

Regulus found Barty and sat down with him and a couple of other Slytherin. 

Barty grinned and scooted to the side to make room for Regulus.

"Can’t find a seat with your own sort?" asked a bony looking boy with a crew cut.

"I can't help it that you sorry excuse for a wizard is sitting here, can I, Nott?" retorted Regulus. "So I will just have to endure your company. 

“Fuck you, Black,” said the boy.

Regulus ignored it, not interested in starting a fight.

"You grew over the summer, Regulus," smiled the girl sitting by the window and flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

"Well, of course," said Regulus in a more friendly tone. He was glad someone noticed.

"It suits you," she smiled and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"I think she fancies you, Regulus," grinned Barty and elbowed him in the ribs.

"W-what?" said Regulus, a little taken aback. A girl fancying him? That made him a little uncomfortable. Were they going to start on him now the way they did with Sirius? They looked a lot alike. No, he thought. Sirius was more masculine than he was. Taller, broader and his face masculine. Regulus had always hated how feminine he looked, but if that meant that the girls wouldn't be all over him like with Sirius, then at least it was good for something. He quickly schooled his face into its normal haughty expression. "So, what did you do over the summer?" he asked Barty. 

"My father dragged me to a couple of meetings. He is very determined for me to walk in his footsteps. He doesn’t care about what I want. He doesn’t care about anything but his bloody career, actually. It was boring as hell, I tell you.” Barty pretended to gag and leaned back in his seat. "So my summer was mostly boring. What about you?"

"Well, the only really entertaining part was the few days you came to visit. The rest of the time I had to deal with my horrible brother," Regulus grimaced.

He knew that Sirius was one of the persons most disliked by Slytherin's, and with good reason, to be fair. Sirius wasn't exactly Slytherin friendly. He and James' favourite pastime was harassing Slytherins. Apart from that, he was a blood traitor and proud of it. Some of them saw Regulus as a blood traitor as well for being sorted into Gryffindor, but at least he didn't act as though he was proud of it. 

"I feel sorry for you," said one of the others. "Did he have his horrible friends over as well?"

"They’re bunch of twats," commented Barty. "Potter is a big-headed idiot, and Lupin? Look at his clothes. One should think he found them in a pile of garbage."

Regulus didn't like what Barty said about Remus but he wasn't going to sit there and defend him in Slytherin company. "No, my mother had the good sense to forbid them to visit, so at least I had a break from them all summer."

"I feel sorry for you that you have to share house with them all school year," said Barty and sighed. "Would have been brilliant if you had been in Slytherin."

"Well, obviously the Hat could see that he was a blood traitor by heart," said Nott. 

"I'm sure the Hat could see that your heart was rotten," snapped Regulus, "but since there are no houses that value that trait it had to just pick somewhere, didn't it?"

Nott shot him a dirty look and narrowed his eyes. "You want to duel?" he growled and got up from his seat.

Regulus snorted. "You want to duel? Run out of arguments already so that's all you can come up with? I'm surprised you don't just throw yourself at me like a Muggle. Merlin knows you're as primitive as one."

Nott clenched his teeth and reached for his wand but one of the girls put a hand on his wrist. "You lost us enough house points last year. Do you really have to start again before we even reach Hogwarts?”

Nott sent the girl a mean look but then sat back down. "No, he’s not worth that," he mumbled and looked out the window.

Regulus laughed. "Sour grapes. Or don't you know that expression? I guess not. You've probably never opened a book until you came to Hogwarts."

"I have!" Nott spat and drew his wand, pointing it at Regulus. "One more word out of you and I’ll blast you out of the compartment!"

"Word," said Regulus, his eyes fixed on Nott.

It wasn't just that Nott had offended him today. He was one of the Slytherins who had been on Regulus' back the most for being sorted into Gryffindor, and Regulus had just about had enough. 

o0o0o0o0o0o

The Marauders sat talking and joking when they suddenly heard a loud bang from a few compartments down and they all flew up from his seats.

"Someone is duelling," Sirius beamed and they all rushed into the aisle to see what was going on.

To Sirius' surprise he found his little brother in a vigorous battle against a Slytherin student and everyone else were rushing out of the compartment to avoid getting caught in the crossfire.

"Stop it!" shouted Remus, him being the prefect and all, but none of the two reacted and he turned to Sirius who was cheering on his brother. "Don't encourage him!"

"Why not? He’s fighting a Slytherin!"

Nott dodged a hex and Regulus made use of the time to put out a small fire on his own sleeve. Nott's next curse knocked Regulus back, sending him flying into a couple of owl cages. 

The noise from the curses, cheers and angry owl screeches attracted the attention of the whole train. 

Remus reached for his wand but Sirius stopped him. “Better let him have this one. I bet this bloke had it coming."

"But I'm a prefect," protested Remus.

Sirius just sent him a look. "Just give him another minute. Nott deserves everything he can get."

“Your brother could get hurt,” said Remus.

“He’ll be fine,” grinned Sirius. He knew from personal experience that Regulus was an excellent dueller so he wasn’t worried.

Nott was laughing as Regulus got to his feet, but forgot to protect himself. At a yell of "Expelliarmus," his wand flew out of his hand and hit Peter in the eye. Then with a "Levicorpus" Nott was hoisted into the air by his foot. 

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" sounded the Head Boy's angry voice. 

Remus turned his head and quickly pulled out his wand so it looked like he had actually tried to intervene. "Just a little duelling match," said Remus as the Head Boy reached them. "I have told them to stop so everything is under control." He just managed to say it before Nott hit the floor with a loud thump. "N-nothing serious," Remus stuttered.

"What's this? Black? Nott?"

"It's his fault!" hissed Nott furiously, holding a hand to a bump on his head and pointing to Regulus. 

"As I recall it you drew your wand on me," said Regulus calmly. "Did you expect me not to defend myself?" 

"You're a filthy blood traitor," hissed Nott.

"Ten points from each of your houses," said the Head Boy, glowering at them both. “And you travel in separate compartments for the rest of the ride!”

"What do I care?" snorted Regulus. "I'll take them back at next Quidditch game. And what kind of punishment is it to not have to share compartment with that?" He pointed at Nott. 

"Ten more points from Gryffindor for your cheek!" spat the Head Boy. 

Remus bit his lip and waved a hand to signal Regulus to stop before he cost Gryffindor more points. He didn’t want Regulus to become even more unpopular.

"Now, one of you leave this compartment!"

"He can leave," spat Nott. “We were here first. The Slytherins. Go back to your own filthy lot!"

Regulus opened his mouth to say something but then caught Remus' eye and decided to not make anymore trouble. "I don't know what I was thinking, anyway, sitting down in a compartment with a brute," he huffed and marched out.

Even though Regulus had lost them twenty points, the Gryffindors were not blaming him. Some even said, "Way to go, Black," or patted his back. Sirius was ecstatic and bragged about his brother’s duelling skills.

Regulus was not at all happy about being a Gryffindor hero so he escaped the other students by sitting down in the Marauders' compartment.

Remus sat down next to Regulus and studied him for a moment. "You burned your sleeve," he said, pointing at the left sleeve. "Did you burn your skin too?"

"Don’t baby him, Remus," grinned Sirius and patted Regulus' knee. "You sure are surprising your old brother at times. I knew you were a good dueller, just never thought you would duel a Slytherin!"

"I didn't fight him because he's Slytherin, I did it because he's a bloody twat." Now that Remus said it, Regulus noticed that his lower arm was actually smarting quite a lot. He rolled down his sleeve and saw that there was a flaring red mark on his wrist. 

Remus carefully took a hold of Regulus’ hand to examine the burn. "You should probably see Madam Pomfrey when we arrive," he said. "It's not a bad burn but it probably stings a lot."

Sirius leaned over to look. "That's not so bad.”

"No, it isn’t,” agreed Regulus. His wrist actually hurt quite a lot, but he didn't know any healing spells and he was too proud to ask the others about it.

Remus looked at James. ”Hey, Prongs – don’t you have something for the pain?" He knew James’ mother was quite a mother hen and she always equipped him with a large selection of potions and other healing items.

"I'm fine, thank you very much," said Regulus. 

James sighed and dug into his bag. He pulled out a jar and handed it to Regulus. "Here. Murtlap essence. That should help."

Regulus eyed James a little sceptically and then hesitantly took the jar. 

"It's not poison, you know," James said, a little annoyed.

"I wouldn't put it past you," mumbled Regulus and carefully applied some of the murtlap to his wrist. 

He let out a sigh as the ointment immediately soothed his burning skin. Still, he just shrugged. “It didn't hurt that much but I guess it did help a bit..."

"Well, that’s good," said Remus, smiling kindly at Regulus.

Regulus gulped and looked out the window. He could still feel Remus' eyes on him. Why did he have to feel like this around Remus? He was afraid it would show; that they would notice and guess how he was feeling. Nobody could ever know. Regulus could not be gay - it simply was not an option. His parents might literally kill him and besides, it would be horribly embarrassing. No. It was something he could never act on. Not with Remus, not with anybody. Hopefully if he ignored it long enough it would go away and he would start to become interested in girls. Maybe he wasn't actually gay, and this thing he had for Remus was an exception.

o0o0o0o0o0o

They got off the train a few hours later. It was pouring down and the students raced each other to the carriages that stood waiting for them. Remus offered Regulus to ride with them since he had been told to stay away from Nott and he was with Barty and his friends. Regulus grudgingly accepted, but as he was getting in, he slipped on the step and fell back against Remus who stood behind him.

Remus caught him by the shoulders. "You okay?"

Regulus stiffened for a second, then pulled away as if he had been burned. "Fine," he mumbled and shook Remus’ hands off him, then hurried into the carriage. He had to get away from Remus. As soon as they arrived at the castle he would give them the slip. 

Remus felt a little hurt by Regulus’ reaction. Did he find it revolting to be touched by him? Had he noticed Remus eying him up and it had made him uncomfortable?

Regulus let Polaris out from his cage once they were all inside the carriage. James eyed him sceptically and warned Regulus to keep him under control. Polaris had had a go at both him and Peter several times before. The cat curled up in a ball on Regulus' lap and purred as he scratched it behind the ear. Without thinking, Remus leaned over and pet the cat on its head. He and Polaris had always gotten along well and the cat rubbed its head against Remus’ hand, purring even louder.

"Why does it like Remus and not me?" asked James. "I never did anything to it."

"I guess I’m just good with animals," said Remus.

"True," grinned Sirius. "And Reggie is better friends with Remus than you so that might have something to do with it."

"I just don't dislike Lupin as much as Potter," said Regulus stiffly, suddenly afraid they would get the idea that he liked Remus too much. 

"You're such a twat, you know that?" said James, looking coldly at Regulus. It didn't bother him that Regulus said he disliked him. The feeling was mutual. But seeing Remus' hurt face made him mad. 

"If you think I give a toss what you think, Potter, you're more conceited than I thought," said Regulus pointedly.

Remus leaned back in his seat and gazed out the window. So Regulus only disliked him less than James. Who was he kidding, anyway? Regulus didn’t like anyone and why would a proud pure-blood like him ever see anything in a poor half-blood? 

"Put a sock in it, Regulus," said Sirius, shooting daggers at his brother.

Regulus noticed Lyra, who was sitting in her cage at Remus' feet, staring at him reproachfully, clearly angry that Regulus would talk ill of her new master, whom she had come to be very fond of. Regulus quickly looked away and stared hard out the window, not speaking another word for the rest of the journey. 

o0o0o0o0o0o

At the feast Remus’ eyes landed on Davies who he could just make out from his seat. Davies sat talking and laughing with his house mates. It occurred to Remus that he didn’t know anything about him. The only thing he knew was that he was Ravenclaw’s Seeker. He knew nothing about him as a person. Was he friendly? Open-minded? Stuck up? Mean?

James did not waste any time. When dessert was served he squeezed his way in between Davies and the person sitting next to him, under the pretence of wanting to talk about the Quidditch season. James had been made captain last year.

"So," he said in a chitchat tone. "Are the rumours that you're gay true?"

Davies studied him for a moment. "Yes, that's no secret. Why? Are you hitting on me?"

James choked and then forced a laugh. "No, mate, I only have eyes for the lovely Lily."

"Yes, I know. The whole school knows. Then why do you ask?"

James looked around. None of the nearby students seemed to be paying attention to them so he leaned in and asked in a low voice, "So what's your type? And are you single?"

Davies eyed him a little suspiciously. "Yes, I'm single. Hogwarts isn’t exactly full of gay blokes." He then looked around as well for a moment before returning his gaze to James. "I like a type that isn't too forward. People who are full of themselves are not really me so you can see why I’m not interested in you. Why do you ask?"

"Well, then I have just the right bloke for you! But you have to promise not to blow his cover. He still in the closet."

"Of course," said Davies, looking interested. 

"Well, it's my friend, Remus. You know, Lupin."

Davies looked surprised and gazed at the Gryffindor table where he spotted Remus sitting with red ears, staring down at his trifle.

"Lupin? He's gay? Well, I guess he’s sort of cute."

"He's definitely not full of himself and he's very nice," said James. Then he got up. "Well, if you're interested you should go talk to him sometime, because Remus is probably too shy to come to you."

o0o0o0o0o0o

"He thinks you're sort of cute!" beamed James as soon as the dorm door closed behind them. 

"W-what?” blushed Remus and looked at James with wide eyes. "He does?" Remus looked at himself in the mirror at the end wall. Davies thought he was cute? There was nothing cute about him that he could see. "W-what did he say?"

"Something offensive about me not being his type," snorted James, "and that he like quieter, modest blokes. Then I pointed you out and he thought you were cute! Although," he added, "you might be a bit wary of him. He might not be completely right in the head. I mean - I wasn't his type?"

"It's probably the hair," grinned Sirius. He ducked to avoid the smack James was aiming at his head and turned to Remus. "So now you just got to go for it, Moony.”

"I can't do that," said Remus, looking a little shocked. "I don't know what I was thinking. What am I supposed to say to him about my three days a month? What if he asks questions? He will start to wonder.”

"Moony, take it easy," said Sirius and rolled his eyes. "Birds have seven days a month where they go loopy so you being away and sick three days will not be noticed. Just tell him what you tell everyone else. That you have a poor immune system."

"But... it always happens around the full moon and if we get close he’s bound to notice."

"Don't worry about that now!" said Sirius. "Who says you're going to marry the bloke? Mate, I've had three girlfriends and haven't gotten serious with anyone yet."

"Yeah, and if you get serious at some point, don't you think you'll want him to know, anyway? And if he's a nice lad he won't mind. Or at least he won't rat on you. He's not a Slytherin, after all," said James. 

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Hey, why don't you come down to watch Quidditch practice tonight?" suggested James the next day as he put on his training equipment. Ravenclaw had the pitch right after Gryffindor, so James thought it was the perfect excuse for Remus to get near Davies. If Davies wanted to get in contact with Remus this would give him a good opportunity. 

Remus looked a little hesitant but then nodded. He looked over at Sirius and Peter. "You lot coming as well?"

Sirius nodded and slung an arm around Peter. "But if Davies comes to talk to you then we’ll disappear so he can have you on his own."

Regulus trailed along at a distance behind the Marauders as he too went down to the pitch. He wasn't in a mood to be chummy with them. He still felt the need for some distance after the episode in the train the day before. He always got uncomfortable and a bit confused when something happened that made him look like a good Gryffindor. On one hand it made him feel good to be praised by his house mates - like when he caught the Snitch in a match - but at the same time it made him uneasy, because he didn't belong there, and he did not want others (especially his family) to think he felt at home in Gryffindor. 

Sirius, Remus and Peter placed themselves on the stands and watched as James gave out instructions. Remus' eyes were on Regulus. He looked so good in his robes, standing there with his broom and listing to what James had to say. Remus shook his head and sighed. Why couldn't he just stop looking at him? The boy didn't like him back, not even as a friend. He only disliked him less than James and that was pretty much telling Remus that he didn't like him at all.

"Here comes your boy," snickered Sirius, elbowing Remus and nodded towards some of the Ravenclaw players who had come to watch the practice.

Davies didn't seem to be paying any attention to Remus although he and his team weren't standing too far away. Sirius noticed Remus looking both nervous and a little disappointed. But as the Gryffindors got off their brooms and the Ravenclaw team headed down from the stands, Noel lingered, pretending to be tying his laces. 

Sirius tugged at Peter's sleeve and got him to follow him off the stands. "Good luck," he mouthed to Remus as they went. 

With Remus now sitting on his own, Davies casually walked over to him. "Hi. You're Remus, right?"

Remus looked up at him and gulped. "Y-yes, I'm Remus." He looked over his shoulder quickly at Sirius who gave him a quick thumbs up before running down to James who stood on the pitch and was about to leave. "Nice to m-meet you," he stuttered and took a deep breath to settle his nerves.

"I'm Noel. If you didn't know."

"I know,” Remus smiled nervously. “I’ve seen you around."

"You have, have you?" Davies smiled and tilted his head while looking at him and it made Remus blush slightly.

"Y-yeah... I have seen you play and such," Remus said and tried to keep his voice steady.

"So Potter talked about you the other day... Did you know?"

Remus gulped and nodded. 

"So… want to go on a date? We've got Hogsmeade weekend coming up."

Remus looked surprised and smiled. "Y-yes, I'd love to."

"Noel!" called one of the others from the Ravenclaw team. "Come on, mate!"

"Brilliant," smiled Davies. "I'll see you then."

oOooOo

To be continued...